Rough hard days

I know it has seemed like forever since I posted for all of you, but I just could.not.do.it.  The last I wrote, we were preparing to have our official Encuentro date where we obtained temporary custody of Little One.  We did this on Wednesday afternoon.  Brant purchased all the items for the "baby shower".  I got all the kids ready and we headed over at 3:00 pm.  The ICBF workers after a little confusion about where we were to have the meeting, led us to a small room with a table and some chairs set up.  They brought a tablecloth and a diaper cake (although she is potty-trained) and some balloons.  We provided all the food.  The employees set everything up while we wrangled the kids.  Jude was not feeling very well that day and cried most of the appointment!!!

Littles on the way to the elevator to get "sister"

Photo at the hotel pool before we left for our Encuentro

Waiting in the hall at ICBF with the cake while we waited to find out where we should go

Balloons and streamers the ICBF staff used to decorate 

Last picture as a family of 6

Jude's face all day :)

 Then it got worse.  While we waited in the "party room", the ICBF psychologist told us Little One was on her way down the hall.  They wanted us to meet her at the door to the room.  We were utterly shocked to get there and see her in the arms of the foster mother who handed her off to Brant, turned and walked away with tears in her eyes.  Not the optimum setup for a good transition.  The hysterics began immediately as you would expect with such a delivery.  It got worse inside where the ICBF workers chanted Little One's name loudly to "distract" her from her grieving.  What?  They also tried to feed her cake and lollipops and juice boxes while she was crying so hard she was on the verge of vomiting.  It was a disaster.  I felt so bad for her that I could hardly contain my emotions.  They navigated us to all sit on the floor where the attempted distractions continued.  Little One was in Brant's lap crying while I herded Jude and Reese.  Jude alternately screamed, poured out juice boxes, threw cookies and tried to sit in Little One's lap while she cried.  In the midst of all this, our attorney asked me if I had copies of our passports with me.  No.  Why would I have those??  While the crying continued, I headed to the hotel with the attorney, our translator and Jude to fetch the missing documents we didn't know we needed.  Of course I left Jude's paci at the party.  Sigh.

Finally, we arrived back at ICBF.  Little One had begun to calm down thanks to a  little painting book we had brought with us.  After the baby shower, we had to go upstairs for more discussion about the process.  By this point, I had begun to feel really nauseous.  I wasn't sure if I was actually sick or just emotionally disturbed about the day so far.  After we arrived at the hotel, there was no doubt that I was sick.  Little One was very tired.  We convinced her to eat some yogurt and drink a little bit of water.  She played with the kids and laughed a little bit for us.  Then she began yawning so we changed her into her pajamas.  When she began sucking her thumb, we knew she was ready for bed.  Reese wanted to sleep with her in the same bed so we thought we could at least try.  I sang them a few songs while I patted them.  She drifted nicely off to sleep and Reese jumped on the bed.  So.....he was moved to the other room.  Screaming of course all the way!!!

It was a rough night.  I was up the majority of the evening either being sick or taking care of Jude who was running a fever and coughing.  Little One woke up a couple of times and just stood by the bed not knowing where to go.  She was easily patted back to sleep.

Thursday morning was pretty tough.  Brant and I were sleep deprived.  I was still very, very sick.  Little One was grieving.  Hard.  Lots of tears.  Little words.  Almost no food.  Plus she began running another fever.  I began alternating Tylenol and ibuprofen. Brant took all the kids except Jude down to breakfast.  We were both so sick there was no point in us going. Two of the psychologists and our translator were scheduled to be at our hotel at 10:00 am for an evaluation of the bonding.   They arrived and quickly noted that Little One was running a fever and put me through an inquisition about how I was treating her fever.  All while I tried not to puke in their laps.  That lasted over an hour.  Then we were told we needed to come down to ICBF again for a meeting with the minor defender and to sign some paperwork.  So, after naps, we lugged all the kids back to ICBF for more of that.  Note: we are all 7 riding in a small car with our driver on all these trips.  And she does not have window locks.  Yeah.  I'm smashed in the back with 4 kiddos, two of which will not stop pushing the buttons!!!!!

At ICBF we spoke again to the minor defender, who is a new kind of eccentric.  He continues to call me Linda Carter aka Wonder Woman.  He thinks Jude looks like Macaulay Culkin as a baby.  He says he loves the movie Home Alone.  These are the comments I am getting from the man while we discuss when we can leave Valledupar to go to Medellin.  It is craziness!!!

There are several reasons we want to hurry and get to Medellin.  The first is Little One's health.  If she were to need medical treatment again, I do not want her to end up back in the clinic here.  I think the care in Medellin would be far superior.  Also, my sister is arriving in Medellin tomorrow.  Thirdly, we are paying for a hotel here AND an apartment rental in Medellin.  The extra time here has added about $2,500 to our adoption costs.  This is NOT GOOD people!

The minor defender insisted he will not file the court documents until Monday and that one of us needs to be here until that is done.  That at least is a compromise since he previously said we all had to stay. So, I will be flying out tomorrow evening with all the kids except for Reese.  Brant will come with Reese to Medellin on Monday evening.  Should be interesting :)

Last night, was a little tougher for Little One.  She was really not feeling well.  I convinced her to eat a little soup (sopa) which is her favorite.  She really struggled with falling asleep and cried quite a bit.  I patted her to sleep finally and just stayed there with her.  Brant dealt with the rest of the brood.  Thankfully, Jude was feeling a little better by the evening.

Little One had a VERY rough night and her fever was up to 103. She would wake up crying for water and I would give her that and her next dose of medicine.  She also grieved quite a bit when she woke up.  I attempted to bath her today.  That did not go well.  She screamed like I was torturing her.  Not sure if I was doing something wrong or if she was just scared :(  The day has been filled with more appointments, notarizing statements, hunting medicine for Little One and airline ticket booking.  It has been non-stop.  I am feeling much better today.  I kept down breakfast AND lunch.  Little One's fever is down some and after nap I spent some time cuddling with her in the room while Brant took the other kids to the pool for a much needed break.

We are heading out now to grab some ice cream. I think we all need something a little refreshing.  It has been tough guys.  We covet your prayers.  We are truly happy but so much of that has been clouded by the reality of the hurt and pain that comes with adoption. It will be a slow road to the healing her heart will need.  Please pray for that.

Little One's painting book that finally calmed her down during Encuentro