Long overdue update!

I did not realize until today how long it has been since I blogged.  So, we have a lot of catching up to do.  First of all, we finished all of our required education.  That is a huge relief!  It had to be completed prior to the final steps in our home study.  Because we finished it so quickly, we were able to schedule our 4th and final home study visit on December 28th instead of waiting until January.  This visit took place in our agency's office in Birmingham with our Colombia-specific social worker.  We discussed our expectations for our new family and our plans to deal with the challenges that most certainly will come as we all make this adjustment.  It was a long meeting.  Our social worker asked a lot of thought-provoking questions.  We still do not know the answers to many of them.  The education we have completed about the emotional and physical needs of the adoptive children has been extensive.  We feel as prepared as we can be.  But it is hard not to have twinges of fear when we hear about the struggles our children will be experience through this transition and the chaos that will bring to our already chaotic home. My anxiety only increased as I began to follow some other adoptive parent's blogs who are currently in-country with their children as well as some who already have them home. This might not have been the best choice.  While their stories are at times uplifting, I seem to be focusing more on their accounts of sleep issues, anger and attachment problems and pure exhaustion.  So, I'm taking a break from those for a bit.  

As I mentioned in my last blog post, we requested a Waiting Children file to view.  Children are assigned to these lists by Colombia's central authority (ICBF) if they are a difficult placement.  The reasons could be age of the child, number of siblings, medical issues or any combination of those.  The file we viewed was that of three boys ages 8, 10 and 12.  Definitely not the direction we set out in.  The boys seem to be healthy and well-adjusted given their situation. They have been in the same foster home together for many years.  And their pictures would just melt your heart.  Their number one request was a Christian home where they could go to church together as a family.  We prayed for many weeks about these boys.  We extended our review time of the files to over four weeks instead of the two we were originally provided.  In the end, we have some hesitations about the placement and no real answers.  Sigh.  So we continue to pray for answers and for these brothers.  We have not closed this door forever, but for now, the file has been released back to our agency so other families can also consider these precious boys.  Still, I cannot get them out of my mind.  I don't know if our reluctance is a nudging from the Lord or our fears.  Trying to sort that all out.

One of the last parts of compiling our home study is a round of visits to a psychologist for both of us.  We had our first appointment scheduled for January 15th.  On January 14th, I foolishly decided to save some money and take our children's passport photos at home.  Disaster.  This led to a spiraling down of my emotions to the point where I did not feel I could appear sane at that psychologist appointment.  I got up first thing the morning of the 15th and cancelled that visit.  I was convinced I would not have been able to get through the first question without collapsing into tears.  In hindsight, the entire event, because it was truly an event, is quite comical.  Amazing what a couple of days does for the old perspective.  Having now collected myself, I rescheduled our appointment for the 22nd.  It was a one hour appointment and completely painless.

Jude's best take

And Reese.

Upcoming steps: 

• 2 hours/500 questions of psychological testing this Friday
• Waiting on finalization of home study by our social worker in Huntsville.  Then it will be reviewed by our social worker's supervisor, our lawyer in Colombia and our social worker in Birmingham.  
• Once the home study is complete, we will submit it with our I-800A form to USCIS (U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services).  They will schedule an appointment for us to get biometric fingerprints taken in Birmingham.  More prints?  Really? And then they will begin the process of approving us to adopt internationally.  
• While we are waiting on USCIS approval, we will begin compiling our dossier to send to Colombia for ICBF's approval.  This requires a ton of work on our end to provide documentation of every single thing we have ever done in our lives.  Certified and notarized documentation.  
• After we receive approval from ICBF, we will wait for referrals from them of children's files.  In the meantime, we can still request files of Waiting Children who are newly released to our agency.  

At the moment, I am feeling quite unqualified.  I am so glad that the Lord is holding me near during my uncertainty and assuring me that I just have to obey.  He will take care of the rest.  Please continue to pray for us and this journey.  We love you all!!