During the Waiting Comes Confirmation

The Wait:

Our dossier was submitted to Colombia since my last post.  The submittal date was June 4th.  So we have officially arrived at the part of the adoption process where the agonizing waiting begins. We are trying to keep busy with other things.  No shortage of those anyway!  We are doing fundraising including yard sales, bracelet sales, Thirty-One bag sales.  I will sell anything at this point!  So thankful for the amazing turnout for the yard sale.  We had over $5,000 in sales.  Beyond blessed.

Dakota and I worked at the VBS our church, Willowbrook Baptist, hosted.  Gavin and Reese both attended.  This was Reese's first year.  They are still happily singing the songs from their week.

We also had some vacation time with the kids as the agency really recommends filling up the kiddos love tanks during this interim period.  It was a much appreciated 5 days of relaxation.  Or maybe 3 days when you deduct the 2 travel days that were NOT relaxing :)  But, overall, a good trip.

This week I'm catching up on paperwork that I never manage to get done during the school year.  Taxes (you heard me right), filing, prepping curriculum for the new school year.   Maybe I can squeeze in some freezer meal prep??  Spend the night parties, pool time at Nannie's and closet clean out.  It is a mad dash of activity before we start back to school on July 8th. Yes, July 8th.  Since we will be gone for possibly two months to Colombia, we must make up some of that time by doing school in July and August.  Too hot for much else anyway.

Adoption Update:

The day after we submitted our letter of intent for Little One, we were presented with the full integral report on her.  We are still waiting on an updated medical, but this did provide us with much more information than we had originally received.  Except, it was in Spanish.  Then we found out, we would be responsible for having those 75 pages worth of documents translated into English to submit to USCIS.  So what do I do when I need help?  I send out a panicked Facebook plea!

A friend of mine, Wendy Johnson, mentioned she has a Colombian friend who lives RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER FROM ME!!!  What?  So began a sweet friendship with Diana Prue who, although busy with 3 children under 6 and approaching her 3rd trimester of her fourth pregnancy, gladly jumped in to assist me with the translation.  Not only that, but she has worked at the yard sale, hosted our family in her home for an amazing Colombian meal and volunteered to work with Dakota on Spanish lessons. And just when I was already feeling overwhelmed by the Lord's provision, it got better!  At the yard sale, Diana met Brant for the first time.  When she got home that evening, she sent me this message:

I was thinking I've seen your husband before, and then I told my husband that I thought he was a fireman from what you said in your blog, and then it hit me!  I met your husband before!!!! We took a tour of the fire dept in spring 2012... he was so nice to the kids!!! I even sent a thank you card with a picture!!!!

Here are those pictures.

God was working all this out a very long time ago.  Colombian adoption is exactly where we are supposed to be.  Every time I feel uncertain, He sends me exactly what I need.  Whether a scripture, words of encouragement from a friend or confirmation in strange ways like this.

                           Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written 
                                        in your book before one of them came to be.  Psalm 139:16


Continue to pray for us as we wait to hear back from ICBF and as we continue our fundraising efforts.  As always, we love you all!!!

Tax deductible donations may be made at Adopt Together by credit card, check or Paypal.

We are expecting! It's a.........

We are expecting!  It is a precious 2 year old little girl! We are overwhelmed with excitement!  Yesterday, Brant and I submitted to our agency our official Letter of Intent to adopt the sweet baby I mentioned in a previous blog post.  We will refer to her as "Little One" throughout the rest of the posts until we are officially matched.  According to Colombia's privacy laws, no identifying information may be posted online.  So...no pictures, no real name.

Now, we just wait.  Lots.of.waiting.  Lots.  Our dossier is still being translated to Spanish by one of Colombia's official translators.  We are hoping that will be completed next week so it can be combined with the letter of intent to submit to ICBF (Colombia's department of family welfare).  From there we anticipate hearing a, "YES, of course we approve you!" from ICBF within 4-8 weeks.  Another 2-4 weeks to officially match us to Little One.  Then 2 more weeks to receive her referral file.  Two more weeks for translation into English.  Then we begin some more, yes more, approvals on the U.S. side of things.  My best estimate for travel is November-ish if there are not additional delays.

The summary report we were given on Little One a few weeks ago was very basic.  And very old.  It was last updated in March 2012.  Our social worker contacted ICBF to point that out.  Their answer was, "You are right, that is outdated.  Unacceptable."  And then nothing.  Although they agreed it needed updating, they did not give us an update.  So, we have agreed to pay for a medical report if they will just provide it.  We have committed either way, but would like to prepare ourselves a bit for what lies ahead.  According to her report, Little One has Sickle Cell Anemia.  There are varying degrees of Sickle Cell.  The terminology and some of the information we have received point to the most difficult type.  It is a lifelong battle with little hope of a cure.  The goal will be management of the disease as best we can.  It should seem daunting.  I've done the homework.  For weeks, I've studied this disease and its effects.  It should be overwhelming.  But I have such a peace.  Little One belongs with us.  We are her family.  The waiting has become exponentially more difficult now that we have "met" her.  I wake up during the night only to remember that she isn't home yet.  And I pray for her.  I never stop praying.  For her safety, her health, her foster family, her birthmother.

So here are my prayer requests:

• That our dossier is approved by ICBF quickly.  
• That they approve us specifically for Little One. 
• Her safety and medical care.
• That her health is better than our worst case scenario.  

Thank you for your support!

Tax deductible donations may be made at Adopt Together by credit card, check or Paypal.

The Apparent Project

**Update (5/5/13): All the bracelets pictured below plus 100 more have sold!  I am hoping to post some more pictures in the next couple of days.  I'll send out a link when I do.  Thank you!



I have blogged before about adoption NOT being the solution to the orphan crisis.  It is a very small piece of the puzzle.  One of the most important ways to beginning working toward homes for these children is to help families stay families!  So, I am partnering with The Apparent Project, an organization helping Haitian families stay together.  Poverty, disease, political instability, natural disasters, and personal stresses divide families every day.  Poverty is the primary reason that there are millions of children in orphanages in Haiti and throughout the world.  The Apparent Project is responding to these needs by building homes, teaching marketable artisan skills and responding to the emergency needs of Haiti's poor in Port Au Prince.

We are beginning a bracelet fundraiser.  Part of the proceeds from the bracelets go back to Haiti and the other part goes to our adoption fund.  The bracelets are made by Haitian artists who are attempting to just meet the basic needs of their families.  They recycle cereal boxes to make these unique beads.  No two bracelets are the same.  These are a perfect gift for Mother's Day!  

If you would like a bracelet, please comment with the number(s) of the bracelet you would like to buy.  Or you can send me an email at eleshamdm@gmail.com.  Each bracelet is $8, and I can ship up to 6 bracelets for $2.50.  If you need larger quantities, I have plenty of other bracelets available.  

Thank you so much for supporting Haiti and for supporting our adoption!



# 1 by Makenson - SOLD

#2 by Vanessa - SOLD

#3 by Luciana - SOLD

#4 by Catrine - SOLD

#5 by Blondina - SOLD

#6 by Berline - SOLD

#7 by Joseph - SOLD

#8 by Samy - SOLD

#9 by Roody - SOLD

#10 by Annie - SOLD

#11 by Janne - SOLD

#12 by Shedline - SOLD

#13 by Masseline - SOLD

#14 by Nancy - SOLD

#15 by Belle - SOLD

#16 by Kaliko - SOLD

#17 by Amanda - SOLD

#18 by Lorene - SOLD

#19 by Marise - SOLD

#20 by Patrick - SOLD

Provision

I just want to thank all of you who have donated so far! We have raised $2090 through donations and the pre-sale of some yard sale items we did not have the space to store. This is such a sweet blessing to us. I am especially overwhelmed by another couple who are in the adoption process who chose to donate to OUR adoption. You know who you are and it is so evident that The Lord has led you to have a special love for ALL of his children and not just your own. Thank you for that obedience. I know The Lord will continue to bless your own process!

I also need to take just a second and brag a bit on God's provision in our lives. For those of you less familiar with our family personally, my husband Brant is a firefighter and works for a family business when he isn't at the station. I stay home and homeschool our children. The family business is  seasonal (lawn and garden equipment sales and repair). This winter things were particularly slow and Brant worked without pay for 4 months. Worry isn't something with which I typically struggle. But when Brant told me in December what was about to happen, I'm pretty sure I had a near panic attack. What are you doing, Lord? We are being obedient to you! How are we going to pay for our basic living expenses, much less these adoption expenses??  But then I relaxed and fell back into my normal routine of prayer and expectancy that God would provide. And let me tell you, he did indeed!! From August until now, our family has personally paid almost $11,000 in adoption expenses. And our savings account has the EXACT SAME BALANCE as before the expenses. This is with no change in spending and Brant's loss of income. There is no mathematical way that we should have been able to write those checks. But I have learned that God has funny math. He has provided in so many ways during each and every step of our journey so far. Why did I ever doubt?

Tax deductible donations may be made at Adopt Together by credit card, check or Paypal account.

So many decisions. Prayers needed.

Last week we received a call from our agency about a waiting child.  They called to let us know that the agency had been assigned a new file from Colombia.  They wanted us to be aware of the file even though it did not fit the requests we had on our request form (remember that one I told you I had a LOT of trouble completing.)

Our request and the file could not be any more different.  This file was not siblings, just one child.  Not boys.  Instead, a precious little girl.  Not a mild, medically correctable special need.  But a life long, non-correctable, serious need.  And we are praying.  We discussed the possibility for a day before agreeing to view the file.  I did not want to hold this child up from being presented to another family if we were not willing to seriously consider the placement.

The file was fairly basic in nature. It talked about her history and how she entered the system in Colombia.  Her date of birth and age.  Brief medical history.  Region where she lives.  Current living arrangements.  And a picture.  And what a picture it is.  She is strikingly beautiful and sweet.  Our hearts melted a bit, I have to admit.  But if you know anything about us, you know we are realists.  Not dreamers.  So realism required us to contact a friend of ours who is a pediatrician here in town.  We discussed at length the potential implications of this condition both short and long term as well as financially.  We have requested additional medical information from Colombia.  There are no guarantees that we will get this information, but it never hurts to ask.

And now, we pray.  Please pray with us.  Pray for this precious child (who by the way is just 19 days younger than Reese!!)  We need the Lord's wisdom and guidance these next few days.  Love you all!!!


Tax deductible donations may be made at Adopt Together by credit card, check or Paypal account.

Why does adoption cost so much? The Breakdown.

$33,000 - $38,000

That is what it will cost, approximately, to complete our Colombian adoption.  To us, and to most of you, that is an insane amount of money.  We went into this process knowing that we could not do this alone.  The Lord would have to provide.  I have faith He will.  What He favors He will fund.  But I doubt He will provide by just dropping the money on our front porch.  Instead, He will be using you and me.  We are His hands and feet:  my friends, my family and others who are led through other avenues to this website.  Before I ask for one single dime from anyone, I want you to know exactly what costs are involved.  So here is the breakdown:

Out of Pocket Agency & U.S. Adoption Expenses

Application Fee for the Adoption Agency                                     $250.00

Agency fees which cover the home study, dossier                       $14,250.00
  preparation, administrative and staffing costs for the
  agency, Humanitarian Aid fee to Colombia,
  (4) Post-adoption social worker visits, document shipping
  fees, translation of post adoption documents, etc.

Fingerprint Fee with State of Alabama                                                  $97.00

Criminal background checks                                                                      $57.00

Medical Reports for home study and dossier (these specialty         $1,000.00
  tests were not covered by our insurance)                

Passport pictures for all six of us                                                             $60.00

Passports for all six of us                                                                           $540.00

Citizenship and Immigration Service Fees (application                   $890.00
   with the United States to adopt internationally, including
   biometric fingerprinting)

Training with the International Adoption Clinic (full day               $150.00
   seminar in Birmingham)

10 Hours of required Hague Treaty parent training online              $195.00

Required book purchase for additional adoption training                $12.00

Dossier apostille (certification by Secretary of State)                       $90.00

Psychological evaluation                                                                           $545.00

FedEx fees                                                                                                       $31.68

Dossier translation fee                                                                             $800.00

Document fees in Colombia & Colombia lawyer fee                    $400.00

Legalization of documents in Colombia                                           $280.00

Wiring Fee                                                                                                  $50.00

Translation of child's medical files                                                     $400.00

In-Country Expenses While in Colombia 
(the ranges indicate the difference in expenditures based on length of stay, some regions require as little as four weeks and others require 7-8 weeks)

Airfare for the 6 of us                                                                        $4,500.00

Airfare for adopted child (return flight)                                       $550.00

In-country translator/guide/transportation                             $1,000.00

In-country attorney fees                                                                     $1,500.00

Hotel Accommodations & Food                                                        $4,000 - $9,000

Medical Exam for adopted child                                                        $150.00

Birth Certificate and passport for adopted child                         $300.00

US Visa for adopted child                                                                    $231.00

Copies and authentication of adoption decree                              $100.00

Translation of adoption decree                                                           $250.00

Post-adoption expenses

Attorney fees to complete the adoption in Alabama                    $480.00

Court report for re-adoption                                                                $50.00

Grand total of $33,208.68 plus the $5,000 fluctuation depending on length of stay in country

We cannot do this without you!

Some people will be able to donate a large amount of money, some smaller amounts.  Some could do a monthly sponsorship or volunteer their time to one of our many upcoming fundraisers.  Others could donate a service or product for a silent auction or raffle.  And I hope that MANY of you will pray.  Please pray for us and for what the Lord would have you contribute.  I am so thankful for all of you and every bit of support so far!  We have raised $1,100.00 at this point.  That leaves our remaining fundraising goal at around $32,000 on the low end.  We could potentially travel as early as November of THIS YEAR.  So that makes our monthly goal only $4,571.  Completely doable, right?  

https://adopttogether.org/maynard/

This is our website for donations.  The donations can be made anonymously or you can identify yourselves.  The donations are TAX-DEDUCTIBLE.  This agency once a month will provide our family with a grant in the amount of the donations that have been made to our site. Please make sure you see our family's picture on the page you are on before you click Donate Now or it will not be designated for us.

And please make plans to attend the first yard sale fundraiser on Saturday, June 1st.  Location to be announced.  Let me know if you can help any day May 28-31 getting set up.  Thank you again.  May the Lord bless you!

Home Study Complete & I-800A submitted

We are slowly, ever so slowly, plodding through this process.  Steps have taken longer than we anticipated.  There have been endless glitches and hangups that I'm told are a normal and expected part of the international adoption process.  So, I've been attempting to just take it all in stride.  Failing somedays.  But acceptant for the most part.  In the past few weeks, our home study was completed by the adoption agency and reviewed by the Colombian lawyer.  The study was then sent with our I-800A form and a $890.00 check to USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services).  This is basically requesting permission from the US Government to adopt internationally.  In a couple of weeks, they should notify us of our scheduled biometric fingerprint appointment in Birmingham.  As soon as we have that appointment and our fingerprints are approved, we will submit our dossier to Colombia.  I am hoping this all moves pretty quickly since we lost a couple of months during the home study process.  

Last time I blogged, I spoke of a sibling group of boys ages 8, 10 and 12 who were available for adoption through the waiting children's list with Lifeline.  Just a couple of weeks after we released their file, another couple submitted a letter of intent to adopt them.  I spent a lot of time praying for these brothers, that the Lord would place them exactly where they should be.  I feel real peace about their placement.  I am glad they are no longer waiting for a family of their own.

Today I mailed the agency a packet of photos of our family, our home, extended family and activities we enjoy.  They will include it with our Colombian dossier.  When our children have been identified, Colombia will use the photos to "introduce" us to them.  I was a little nervous and excited about putting this together for our newest children.  How strange to meet them for the first time on paper.  I am so thankful that Colombia shows so much concern for their orphans.  They really strive to make the transition as easy as it can be given the circumstances.  

I also mailed the agency our ICBF application.  ICBF is the central authority in Colombia which will review our dossier for approval. Here we had to really nail down the requested child portion.  For us that ended up being: Two siblings, preferably boys, any race, ages 0- 4 years 11 months with one of the children have a medically correctable special need.   With our family's size, income and Brant's work schedule, we narrowed those needs down to many different vision issues, heart issues, orthopedic problems like club foot, etc., missing, webbed or extra digits, developmental delays, missing hand/arm, burns and several other more detailed medical problems.  It was terribly difficult to complete this form.  I want every child, with every severity of need, to have a home.  I just know that we are not capable of meeting every child's needs.  I pray the Lord sends the right family to each and every one of them.  

In January, on Wednesday evenings, I began meeting with a group of couples and individuals who are interested in orphan care.  Some are in the process of international adoption, some are foster parents, some are feeling led to adopt but have not started the process and some are simply advocates for these children.  It has been an amazing experience to be around such "like-minded" believers.  They truly understand my passion and my heart for this ministry and the Biblical call to it.  Each week, I am challenged to explore my motivation and goals in regard to adoption as well as my responsibility when this process ends.  Because that is just it, it doesn't end.  The adoption is not a check box for me to fill in to fulfill the call to orphan ministry.  It is a life call.  I do not know what this will look like for us in the future.  It could mean another adoption, foster care, mentoring, financial support of adoptive families or advocacy.  But I know it will never end for us.  I am so happy the Lord has opened our family's eyes to this path.  

I have always craved peace.  But what I really meant was quiet, order and structure. The book that we are reading in our class, A Passion for the Fatherless by Daniel Bennett speaks of the kind of peace I was craving.   Here is what he says about it:

"It is not wrong to want peace in your home.  But how much do you desire peace?  If you want it so badly that you will respond sinfully if you do not obtain it, it has become an idol.  As you rant or rave or scream or seethe, know that such a response reveals you are worshipping peace.  You want it more than God.  Your desire has become idolatrous.  

Our responses of despair, fear, anger, frustration and the like are constant warning signs that show us that whatever is evoking this response has become an idol. The task is to....constantly analyze the conflicts and upsets in your life and try to discern what your heart is worshipping at that moment

As our hearts are humbled, we become consumed with a passion for God.  We are able to look at the circumstances in our life as part of his plan instead of tenaciously clinging to our own design for our lives."

This has been life changing for me. In the midst of my eventful (loud and chaotic) days, I can rest in true peace that I am being completely obedient to what the Lord is asking of me.  It is a crazy kind of peace.  Not quiet.  Just peace.