Yesterday we had our third homestudy visit with our Huntsville social worker. Each visit has a "theme" to it. The first was our marriage relationship, parenting philosophies, home safety/readiness etc. The second visit was individual life histories. The third really focused on the new children and how they would fit in our current family structure. We discussed how our birth children would be affected depending on the ages and genders of the adopted kids. These were some very challenging areas to explore. It is hard to be willing, completely and totally, to choose difficulty for Dakota, Gavin, Reese and Jude. But it will be difficult. That is certain. It will not be easy for them. Rewarding in the end? I hope so. But not easy.
Selflessness is not a quality children have in leaps and bounds. Even most adults struggle in that area. We will be asking them to love these children they do not know. Children that are taking up a lot of our time and energy. And maybe not always being pleasant to be around. It will disrupt and change the flow of our home at least for at time. It makes me think some days, why are we doing this? But then I think of our children who are already living somewhere in Colombia. They are already mine. I would never for a second wish any of my children away. Even though they all came with major disruptions to our routines and relationships. It has never been easy for me. I struggled and still do struggle with selfishness with every single child. I want sleep. I want a tidy and clean house. I want to go out to eat. I want to go to the bathroom alone. I want to have my coffee in silence. I want to watch a tv show. I want sleep :) But these are all seasons. Dakota and Gavin never want to go the bathroom with me now. So I know it will pass!
That being said, we are still praying and thinking a lot about the ages of children for which we are willing to accept referrals. We originally said two children (siblings) age 5 and under. That would mean, based on Colombia's requirements, that one of those children would have a medical special need. Other options for physically healthy children would require that we adopt 3 siblings or a sibling group of two with at least one of the children over the age of 8. The older the child, the longer the institutionalism, the more likely they are to have suffered physical and/or sexual abuse. It is almost a given. So that has it's own challenges. Both in dealing with the adopted child's emotional suffering as well as protecting our biological children from any potential danger. Not for the fainthearted. But we are not discounting any possibilities at this point. We are open, if but tentatively, to whatever the Lord leads us to.
Please be in prayer for us. We have requested to look at the file of a sibling group from Bogota. I do not know if they are a fit for our family, but it is something we want more information on. I'll keep you posted.
Our next, and final, homestudy visit will be in Birmingham with our country-specific social worker. It will probably be sometime in January. We are supposed to have all of our education completed by that date. So some prayers of fast reading for Brant would also be appreciated :)
UPDATE: Just received requested file of sibling group. We have two weeks to review and/or request more information. Please, please pray!
