Provision

I just want to thank all of you who have donated so far! We have raised $2090 through donations and the pre-sale of some yard sale items we did not have the space to store. This is such a sweet blessing to us. I am especially overwhelmed by another couple who are in the adoption process who chose to donate to OUR adoption. You know who you are and it is so evident that The Lord has led you to have a special love for ALL of his children and not just your own. Thank you for that obedience. I know The Lord will continue to bless your own process!

I also need to take just a second and brag a bit on God's provision in our lives. For those of you less familiar with our family personally, my husband Brant is a firefighter and works for a family business when he isn't at the station. I stay home and homeschool our children. The family business is  seasonal (lawn and garden equipment sales and repair). This winter things were particularly slow and Brant worked without pay for 4 months. Worry isn't something with which I typically struggle. But when Brant told me in December what was about to happen, I'm pretty sure I had a near panic attack. What are you doing, Lord? We are being obedient to you! How are we going to pay for our basic living expenses, much less these adoption expenses??  But then I relaxed and fell back into my normal routine of prayer and expectancy that God would provide. And let me tell you, he did indeed!! From August until now, our family has personally paid almost $11,000 in adoption expenses. And our savings account has the EXACT SAME BALANCE as before the expenses. This is with no change in spending and Brant's loss of income. There is no mathematical way that we should have been able to write those checks. But I have learned that God has funny math. He has provided in so many ways during each and every step of our journey so far. Why did I ever doubt?

Tax deductible donations may be made at Adopt Together by credit card, check or Paypal account.

So many decisions. Prayers needed.

Last week we received a call from our agency about a waiting child.  They called to let us know that the agency had been assigned a new file from Colombia.  They wanted us to be aware of the file even though it did not fit the requests we had on our request form (remember that one I told you I had a LOT of trouble completing.)

Our request and the file could not be any more different.  This file was not siblings, just one child.  Not boys.  Instead, a precious little girl.  Not a mild, medically correctable special need.  But a life long, non-correctable, serious need.  And we are praying.  We discussed the possibility for a day before agreeing to view the file.  I did not want to hold this child up from being presented to another family if we were not willing to seriously consider the placement.

The file was fairly basic in nature. It talked about her history and how she entered the system in Colombia.  Her date of birth and age.  Brief medical history.  Region where she lives.  Current living arrangements.  And a picture.  And what a picture it is.  She is strikingly beautiful and sweet.  Our hearts melted a bit, I have to admit.  But if you know anything about us, you know we are realists.  Not dreamers.  So realism required us to contact a friend of ours who is a pediatrician here in town.  We discussed at length the potential implications of this condition both short and long term as well as financially.  We have requested additional medical information from Colombia.  There are no guarantees that we will get this information, but it never hurts to ask.

And now, we pray.  Please pray with us.  Pray for this precious child (who by the way is just 19 days younger than Reese!!)  We need the Lord's wisdom and guidance these next few days.  Love you all!!!


Tax deductible donations may be made at Adopt Together by credit card, check or Paypal account.

Why does adoption cost so much? The Breakdown.

$33,000 - $38,000

That is what it will cost, approximately, to complete our Colombian adoption.  To us, and to most of you, that is an insane amount of money.  We went into this process knowing that we could not do this alone.  The Lord would have to provide.  I have faith He will.  What He favors He will fund.  But I doubt He will provide by just dropping the money on our front porch.  Instead, He will be using you and me.  We are His hands and feet:  my friends, my family and others who are led through other avenues to this website.  Before I ask for one single dime from anyone, I want you to know exactly what costs are involved.  So here is the breakdown:

Out of Pocket Agency & U.S. Adoption Expenses

Application Fee for the Adoption Agency                                     $250.00

Agency fees which cover the home study, dossier                       $14,250.00
  preparation, administrative and staffing costs for the
  agency, Humanitarian Aid fee to Colombia,
  (4) Post-adoption social worker visits, document shipping
  fees, translation of post adoption documents, etc.

Fingerprint Fee with State of Alabama                                                  $97.00

Criminal background checks                                                                      $57.00

Medical Reports for home study and dossier (these specialty         $1,000.00
  tests were not covered by our insurance)                

Passport pictures for all six of us                                                             $60.00

Passports for all six of us                                                                           $540.00

Citizenship and Immigration Service Fees (application                   $890.00
   with the United States to adopt internationally, including
   biometric fingerprinting)

Training with the International Adoption Clinic (full day               $150.00
   seminar in Birmingham)

10 Hours of required Hague Treaty parent training online              $195.00

Required book purchase for additional adoption training                $12.00

Dossier apostille (certification by Secretary of State)                       $90.00

Psychological evaluation                                                                           $545.00

FedEx fees                                                                                                       $31.68

Dossier translation fee                                                                             $800.00

Document fees in Colombia & Colombia lawyer fee                    $400.00

Legalization of documents in Colombia                                           $280.00

Wiring Fee                                                                                                  $50.00

Translation of child's medical files                                                     $400.00

In-Country Expenses While in Colombia 
(the ranges indicate the difference in expenditures based on length of stay, some regions require as little as four weeks and others require 7-8 weeks)

Airfare for the 6 of us                                                                        $4,500.00

Airfare for adopted child (return flight)                                       $550.00

In-country translator/guide/transportation                             $1,000.00

In-country attorney fees                                                                     $1,500.00

Hotel Accommodations & Food                                                        $4,000 - $9,000

Medical Exam for adopted child                                                        $150.00

Birth Certificate and passport for adopted child                         $300.00

US Visa for adopted child                                                                    $231.00

Copies and authentication of adoption decree                              $100.00

Translation of adoption decree                                                           $250.00

Post-adoption expenses

Attorney fees to complete the adoption in Alabama                    $480.00

Court report for re-adoption                                                                $50.00

Grand total of $33,208.68 plus the $5,000 fluctuation depending on length of stay in country

We cannot do this without you!

Some people will be able to donate a large amount of money, some smaller amounts.  Some could do a monthly sponsorship or volunteer their time to one of our many upcoming fundraisers.  Others could donate a service or product for a silent auction or raffle.  And I hope that MANY of you will pray.  Please pray for us and for what the Lord would have you contribute.  I am so thankful for all of you and every bit of support so far!  We have raised $1,100.00 at this point.  That leaves our remaining fundraising goal at around $32,000 on the low end.  We could potentially travel as early as November of THIS YEAR.  So that makes our monthly goal only $4,571.  Completely doable, right?  

https://adopttogether.org/maynard/

This is our website for donations.  The donations can be made anonymously or you can identify yourselves.  The donations are TAX-DEDUCTIBLE.  This agency once a month will provide our family with a grant in the amount of the donations that have been made to our site. Please make sure you see our family's picture on the page you are on before you click Donate Now or it will not be designated for us.

And please make plans to attend the first yard sale fundraiser on Saturday, June 1st.  Location to be announced.  Let me know if you can help any day May 28-31 getting set up.  Thank you again.  May the Lord bless you!

Home Study Complete & I-800A submitted

We are slowly, ever so slowly, plodding through this process.  Steps have taken longer than we anticipated.  There have been endless glitches and hangups that I'm told are a normal and expected part of the international adoption process.  So, I've been attempting to just take it all in stride.  Failing somedays.  But acceptant for the most part.  In the past few weeks, our home study was completed by the adoption agency and reviewed by the Colombian lawyer.  The study was then sent with our I-800A form and a $890.00 check to USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services).  This is basically requesting permission from the US Government to adopt internationally.  In a couple of weeks, they should notify us of our scheduled biometric fingerprint appointment in Birmingham.  As soon as we have that appointment and our fingerprints are approved, we will submit our dossier to Colombia.  I am hoping this all moves pretty quickly since we lost a couple of months during the home study process.  

Last time I blogged, I spoke of a sibling group of boys ages 8, 10 and 12 who were available for adoption through the waiting children's list with Lifeline.  Just a couple of weeks after we released their file, another couple submitted a letter of intent to adopt them.  I spent a lot of time praying for these brothers, that the Lord would place them exactly where they should be.  I feel real peace about their placement.  I am glad they are no longer waiting for a family of their own.

Today I mailed the agency a packet of photos of our family, our home, extended family and activities we enjoy.  They will include it with our Colombian dossier.  When our children have been identified, Colombia will use the photos to "introduce" us to them.  I was a little nervous and excited about putting this together for our newest children.  How strange to meet them for the first time on paper.  I am so thankful that Colombia shows so much concern for their orphans.  They really strive to make the transition as easy as it can be given the circumstances.  

I also mailed the agency our ICBF application.  ICBF is the central authority in Colombia which will review our dossier for approval. Here we had to really nail down the requested child portion.  For us that ended up being: Two siblings, preferably boys, any race, ages 0- 4 years 11 months with one of the children have a medically correctable special need.   With our family's size, income and Brant's work schedule, we narrowed those needs down to many different vision issues, heart issues, orthopedic problems like club foot, etc., missing, webbed or extra digits, developmental delays, missing hand/arm, burns and several other more detailed medical problems.  It was terribly difficult to complete this form.  I want every child, with every severity of need, to have a home.  I just know that we are not capable of meeting every child's needs.  I pray the Lord sends the right family to each and every one of them.  

In January, on Wednesday evenings, I began meeting with a group of couples and individuals who are interested in orphan care.  Some are in the process of international adoption, some are foster parents, some are feeling led to adopt but have not started the process and some are simply advocates for these children.  It has been an amazing experience to be around such "like-minded" believers.  They truly understand my passion and my heart for this ministry and the Biblical call to it.  Each week, I am challenged to explore my motivation and goals in regard to adoption as well as my responsibility when this process ends.  Because that is just it, it doesn't end.  The adoption is not a check box for me to fill in to fulfill the call to orphan ministry.  It is a life call.  I do not know what this will look like for us in the future.  It could mean another adoption, foster care, mentoring, financial support of adoptive families or advocacy.  But I know it will never end for us.  I am so happy the Lord has opened our family's eyes to this path.  

I have always craved peace.  But what I really meant was quiet, order and structure. The book that we are reading in our class, A Passion for the Fatherless by Daniel Bennett speaks of the kind of peace I was craving.   Here is what he says about it:

"It is not wrong to want peace in your home.  But how much do you desire peace?  If you want it so badly that you will respond sinfully if you do not obtain it, it has become an idol.  As you rant or rave or scream or seethe, know that such a response reveals you are worshipping peace.  You want it more than God.  Your desire has become idolatrous.  

Our responses of despair, fear, anger, frustration and the like are constant warning signs that show us that whatever is evoking this response has become an idol. The task is to....constantly analyze the conflicts and upsets in your life and try to discern what your heart is worshipping at that moment

As our hearts are humbled, we become consumed with a passion for God.  We are able to look at the circumstances in our life as part of his plan instead of tenaciously clinging to our own design for our lives."

This has been life changing for me. In the midst of my eventful (loud and chaotic) days, I can rest in true peace that I am being completely obedient to what the Lord is asking of me.  It is a crazy kind of peace.  Not quiet.  Just peace.

Long overdue update!

I did not realize until today how long it has been since I blogged.  So, we have a lot of catching up to do.  First of all, we finished all of our required education.  That is a huge relief!  It had to be completed prior to the final steps in our home study.  Because we finished it so quickly, we were able to schedule our 4th and final home study visit on December 28th instead of waiting until January.  This visit took place in our agency's office in Birmingham with our Colombia-specific social worker.  We discussed our expectations for our new family and our plans to deal with the challenges that most certainly will come as we all make this adjustment.  It was a long meeting.  Our social worker asked a lot of thought-provoking questions.  We still do not know the answers to many of them.  The education we have completed about the emotional and physical needs of the adoptive children has been extensive.  We feel as prepared as we can be.  But it is hard not to have twinges of fear when we hear about the struggles our children will be experience through this transition and the chaos that will bring to our already chaotic home. My anxiety only increased as I began to follow some other adoptive parent's blogs who are currently in-country with their children as well as some who already have them home. This might not have been the best choice.  While their stories are at times uplifting, I seem to be focusing more on their accounts of sleep issues, anger and attachment problems and pure exhaustion.  So, I'm taking a break from those for a bit.  

As I mentioned in my last blog post, we requested a Waiting Children file to view.  Children are assigned to these lists by Colombia's central authority (ICBF) if they are a difficult placement.  The reasons could be age of the child, number of siblings, medical issues or any combination of those.  The file we viewed was that of three boys ages 8, 10 and 12.  Definitely not the direction we set out in.  The boys seem to be healthy and well-adjusted given their situation. They have been in the same foster home together for many years.  And their pictures would just melt your heart.  Their number one request was a Christian home where they could go to church together as a family.  We prayed for many weeks about these boys.  We extended our review time of the files to over four weeks instead of the two we were originally provided.  In the end, we have some hesitations about the placement and no real answers.  Sigh.  So we continue to pray for answers and for these brothers.  We have not closed this door forever, but for now, the file has been released back to our agency so other families can also consider these precious boys.  Still, I cannot get them out of my mind.  I don't know if our reluctance is a nudging from the Lord or our fears.  Trying to sort that all out.

One of the last parts of compiling our home study is a round of visits to a psychologist for both of us.  We had our first appointment scheduled for January 15th.  On January 14th, I foolishly decided to save some money and take our children's passport photos at home.  Disaster.  This led to a spiraling down of my emotions to the point where I did not feel I could appear sane at that psychologist appointment.  I got up first thing the morning of the 15th and cancelled that visit.  I was convinced I would not have been able to get through the first question without collapsing into tears.  In hindsight, the entire event, because it was truly an event, is quite comical.  Amazing what a couple of days does for the old perspective.  Having now collected myself, I rescheduled our appointment for the 22nd.  It was a one hour appointment and completely painless.

Jude's best take

And Reese.

Upcoming steps: 

• 2 hours/500 questions of psychological testing this Friday
• Waiting on finalization of home study by our social worker in Huntsville.  Then it will be reviewed by our social worker's supervisor, our lawyer in Colombia and our social worker in Birmingham.  
• Once the home study is complete, we will submit it with our I-800A form to USCIS (U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services).  They will schedule an appointment for us to get biometric fingerprints taken in Birmingham.  More prints?  Really? And then they will begin the process of approving us to adopt internationally.  
• While we are waiting on USCIS approval, we will begin compiling our dossier to send to Colombia for ICBF's approval.  This requires a ton of work on our end to provide documentation of every single thing we have ever done in our lives.  Certified and notarized documentation.  
• After we receive approval from ICBF, we will wait for referrals from them of children's files.  In the meantime, we can still request files of Waiting Children who are newly released to our agency.  

At the moment, I am feeling quite unqualified.  I am so glad that the Lord is holding me near during my uncertainty and assuring me that I just have to obey.  He will take care of the rest.  Please continue to pray for us and this journey.  We love you all!!

3rd homestudy

Yesterday we had our third homestudy visit with our Huntsville social worker.  Each visit has a "theme" to it.  The first was our marriage relationship, parenting philosophies, home safety/readiness etc.  The second visit was individual life histories.  The third really focused on the new children and how they would fit in our current family structure.  We discussed how our birth children would be affected depending on the ages and genders of the adopted kids.  These were some very challenging areas to explore.  It is hard to be willing, completely and totally, to choose difficulty for Dakota, Gavin, Reese and Jude.  But it will be difficult.  That is certain.  It will not be easy for them.  Rewarding in the end?  I hope so.  But not easy.

Selflessness is not a quality children have in leaps and bounds.  Even most adults struggle in that area.  We will be asking them to love these children they do not know.  Children that are taking up a lot of our time and energy.  And maybe not always being pleasant to be around.  It will disrupt and change the flow of our home at least for at time.  It makes me think some days, why are we doing this?  But then I think of our children who are already living somewhere in Colombia.  They are already mine.  I would never for a second wish any of my children away.  Even though they all came with major disruptions to our routines and relationships.  It has never been easy for me.  I struggled and still do struggle with selfishness with every single child.  I want sleep.  I want a tidy and clean house.  I want to go out to eat.  I want to go to the bathroom alone.  I want to have my coffee in silence.  I want to watch a tv show.  I want sleep :)  But these are all seasons.  Dakota and Gavin never want to go the bathroom with me now.  So I know it will pass!

That being said, we are still praying and thinking a lot about the ages of children for which we are willing to accept referrals.  We originally said two children (siblings) age 5 and under.  That would mean, based on Colombia's requirements, that one of those children would have a medical special need.  Other options for physically healthy children would require that we adopt 3 siblings or a sibling group of two with at least one of the children over the age of 8.  The older the child, the longer the institutionalism, the more likely they are to have suffered physical and/or sexual abuse.  It is almost a given.  So that has it's own challenges.  Both in dealing with the adopted child's emotional suffering as well as protecting our biological children from any potential danger.  Not for the fainthearted.  But we are not discounting any possibilities at this point.  We are open, if but tentatively, to whatever the Lord leads us to.

Please be in prayer for us.  We have requested to look at the file of a sibling group from Bogota.  I do not know if they are a fit for our family, but it is something we want more information on.  I'll keep you posted.

Our next, and final, homestudy visit will be in Birmingham with our country-specific social worker.  It will probably be sometime in January.  We are supposed to have all of our education completed by that date.  So some prayers of fast reading for Brant would also be appreciated :)

UPDATE: Just received requested file of sibling group.  We have two weeks to review and/or request more information.  Please, please pray!

Home Study Time

Since I last posted, we had two of our home study visits.  Our social worker is Sella and is really laid back and wonderful to work with.  When she arrived, we began some small talk and realized she and I are related.  Two ways.  We do live in Alabama, right? Her first visit was to inspect our home, see that it was safe and that it had plenty of room to house all of us plus more.  We stretched the more.  We could make it work by doing many sets of bunk beds :)  They accepted that.  After all, I'm sure our home is larger than many orphanages housing much more than 6-7 kids.  We are having the home study written to accept up to 3 additional children, 5 years old or younger.  But we are more specifically requesting a group of 2, ages 4 and under. At least one of the children would have a medically correctable special need if we are referred a group of two. By the way, Gavin managed to hold back on suggesting that Sella check the closets for mistreated children.  Thank you, Gavin.

Our social worker told us we could be picking up our precious ones in Colombia by next fall.  Ideally, Brant and I would both like to be in a different house by the time our travel takes place.  That is really not that far away, especially if we decide to build.  This is where you come in.  Please pray for us to have direction about our home.  Or you could also pray for someone to just come forward and hand us a check to buy our house. Then we will be forced into making a timely decision. Problem solved!

After our first home study visit, we had physicals to complete with our doctor along with extensive blood work.  We also received the first of our FBI clearances on our fingerprints.  We are still waiting on the clearances from ABI and the state bureaus of Florida, Tennessee and Ohio since I lived in all of those states as an adult.  After the first home study visit, we each had to provide our social worker with an autobiography.  We had a questionnaire to guide us so we knew what type of things they were expecting it to include.  Each of ours ended up being around 6 pages.  Typed.  No-double spacing.  After submitting these autobiographies, Sella scheduled our second visit which would be 1 1/2 hour individual interviews about the things we wrote.  Lovely.

I have to be honest and tell you that I completely dreaded this interview.  Writing the autobiography was about all the visiting of my past that I wanted to embark on.  But it was inevitable.  Most of you do not know much of my history B.C. (before Christ, before children, before changes).  Some of you know quite a bit.  But none of you know it all.  There was a lot of pain, sorrow, embarrassment and regret in my story.  It was difficult to discuss at best and highly emotional for me.  I have not taken the time at any point before now to really sit and reflect on my life as a whole picture.  The entire journey.  And while it isn't pretty, it is amazing.  The me now looks nothing like the me of years ago.  I hope that is because I'm growing to be more of a reflection of my Lord.  I hope the change in me in the next 15 - 20 years is just as mind-blowing because there is a huge gap between who I am and who I want to be.  I hope that somehow, because of my testimony, someone else finds peace, forgiveness and acceptance with the Lord.

When my interview was over, I walked into the nursery and just rocked in the chair for a while.  This is the song that came on the radio.  This is my story.